'As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.' Psalm 42:1
For anyone who doesn't know me I struggle with emotions, most find it quite funny that I don't quite know what I'm feeling at that moment in time. My girlfriend finds it mildly annoying at times. She'll ask me how i'm feeling about a hard situation and I genuinely don't know! I feel emotionally stunted at times! This has resulted in me not trusting emotions and being rather judgmental and cynical about people who do seem emotional when singing in church services and letting their emotions 'get the better' of them.
A few weeks ago I came across this passage and it is charged with emotion. King David was clearly feeling very emotional in his pursuit for God. David then goes on to talk about his 'thirst for God' (vs2) and him crying for God (vs3). Reflecting on this it is not like how I desire God. My soul doesn't really 'thirst' for God like David' does. I actually find it quite awkward to read this and think that I should be this emotionally charged for God, to thirst for him and to weep for him.
So what do I need to do about it? If I want to be like the best king that Israel ever produced then I need to start getting in touch with my emotions. Not in a lovie, dovie, sappy way though but in a righteous way. A way for God, a way to desire God.
Blog post by Lawrence
Lawrence is on the student team at St Michael le Belfrey and became a Christian while he was a student in York.