Yeah, I mean, he’s the perfect guy, apart from the whole ‘not believing in Jesus thing..’ My friends would be millionaires given the amount of times I have said that to them over the past couple of years.
The Christian dating world is something of a taboo in churches, especially in the student or young adult world. You ‘typically’ either meet people in serious relationships who are either engaged or on their way to being engaged, or you have the ‘searching for their perfect partner’ group of people, or, you find the ones who are brilliantly happy and confident in their singleness, which you can only strive to be like.
It appears sometimes in a church, as soon as there’s an inkling of two people getting together, there will be many a raised eyebrow, a pat on the back and a ‘I hope you’re praying’ nod – not to mention a lot of whispers. Which is great, in some ways, that everyone is looking out for you (or just really super nosey), however, sometimes you just want to scream, ‘LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A SECOND UNTIL I FIGURE OUT MY FEELINGS!’
But, what happens when you meet someone outside of church who is the man or woman of your dreams and everything you have ever hoped for… they just don’t know Jesus?
I have had personal experience of this and I can honestly say it is one of the most difficult positions to be in. You love them. You want to share the amazing power of Jesus with them and they are very supportive, but they just don’t… ‘get it.’ They don’t get the amazing warmth and joy that the Holy Spirit can bring in a worship session, or experience the power of healing or of prayer. They don’t understand the importance of the cross and all that Jesus has done for them.
And it’s just really sad.
In my experience of relationships with non Christians, it has always lead me further away from God than it has lead my partner towards Him. Because of this, I have suffered more post break up as I have had to pick myself up, dust myself off and face the cross once more; starting my relationship with Jesus all over again, when really my relationship with Jesus should be growing through my relationship with my partner.
Doug Greenfield spoke about this at the Student and 18-30 weekend away recently and it has really put it into perspective for me. He looked at the verse in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 which (summarised) says
"Do not be yolked together with unbelievers. What fellowship can light have with darkness? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? ‘’Come out from them and be separate,’’ says the Lord. And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
This, I agree, is a little hard hitting… BUT why would you want to sacrifice the amazing relationship you have with Christ, who died to save you, for an earthly relationship with someone who doesn’t know him?
Being single in our society is hard sometimes. Being single in a church is harder, but I think it should be something that is celebrated. Having a season of being single is absolutely wonderful. There appears to be so much pressure to get married and be happy really early in the Christian dating culture and I actually think this is quite unhealthy for us. I mean, being single and spreading God’s word is equally as brilliant as doing it when you’re married! We don’t have a biological marrying clock!
This is, of course, all my own opinion. However, my suggestion if you’re struggling with this is to pray and talk about the situation with someone whom you can be accountable to. Let God seep into every area of your life, even the bits you want to hide and try and control, and don’t settle for less than your Father in Heaven has promised you; learn to love the season of your life that you are in!
Blog by Laura Cooper a second year music student, passionate about Jesus and lover of a lot of cake.. oh and peanut butter. A LOT of peanut butter.